Balaam's Ass received - unsolicited in the mail - the delightful gift pictured above just the other day, and she could not be more pleased to be reminded that there are still people - some sharp, savy, forward-thinking, entrepreneurial types in Christendom who are not ashamed to bring cost effectiveness, convenience, product ingenuity and "versatile" graphic design to the table - the Lord's Table, that is.
This here is sheer genius, and BASS only wishes that she could have somehow been influential in this gem coming to market. The "Celebration Cup" is sure to guarantee increased, and happy, participation at the table. The tactile sensation elicited by slowwwly peeling back the ornate cellophane, together with that sudden whiff of fresh-baked wafer, are nothing but pure enhancements to that feeling of neat, comfy satisfaction in a meal so well prepared and delivered. Utilize careful, selective rotation of your stock of "Celebration Cups" and shazam! a murky shot of grade B juice is transformed into a little crowd-pleasing shot of "vino di casa!"
What's more, this cup and this bread instantly connect with today's contemporary consumer Christian, while appropriately (yet gently) eschewing the pseudo-otherworldliness inherent in the somewhat stuffy table practices of certain archaic branches of "ancient Christendom."
And so BASS says, "Well done!" In an age when good mothers serve up hot, delicious bags of MacDonalds, when steamy bowls of Ramen noodles are nuked and scarfed down in minutes, and when six course meals can be guzzled from...a can, it only makes sense that heaven should be noted for its flexible, yet accomodating, table settings as well.
With the understandable success the "Celebration Cup" is sure to enjoy in today's fast paced world, BASS can hardly wait for its much anticipated, highly innovative complement which is undoubtedly just over the marketeer's horizon: "Baptismal-Font-in-a-Cup," complete with miniature space-aged de-hydrolator and gossamer baptismal gown - all in an ultra-convenient, PDA-sized cardboard box. Sign up now and be the first to baptize your next convert without getting so much as a drop of water on your new Armani or even having to leave your pulpit!
And of course, Visa and MasterCard are accepted...
6 comments:
HA! I've always laughed these:
Testamints:
http://ship-of-fools.com/Gadgets/Food/015.html
Good call Moph.
You don't like testamints? My wife tells me they make my speech more pious...heh heh :-)
:)
Hey man,
I just wanted to say that I appreciate your solid words for at the Flyswatter blog today (06.22.06). With their blog being out for some time now, I think people have realized that the best thing to do is leave them to their own shenanigans. However, your words were needed and hopefully will be heeded. Thanks again.
Thanks Timmy. I don't have much hope that the flyswatter men will heed any of it, but I do hope the traffic to their own blog will completely dry up. They are rapidly approaching the status of Hymenaeus and Philetus mentioned by Paul in 2 Tim 2:17.
Keep up the good work in your own blogging - grace and peace to you,
Timotheos
what's up Moph - haven't heard from you in a while. Drop by when you got the time :)
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