"Spiritual" Supplications

I THINK I have read somewhere (or maybe just now fabricated in the netherworld of my own imagination) that religious trends and sensibilities these days are not really religious as much as they are "spiritual." This is a fine distinction, and an important one, too. It's cool and acceptable to be spiritual, 'cause the analogue to spiritual in the po-mo, ub po-cu mind (that's hip code for "post-modern, ubiquitous pop culture") is non-corporeal, and non-corporealness is interesting, in a non-religious sort of way. I mean, who wouldn't want, for example, to have an out-of-body experience, especially since gasoline is almost 3 stinking bucks a gallon? And out-of-body travel is way eco-friendly, as the emissions are minimal, HOV lanes are passé and tire disposal ceases to be a problem, and that's what I'm talkin' about.

Everyone knows that corporeality accounts for only part of the story – there’s more to us than meets the eye. But religion, and religious terminology, is so dogmatic, so restrictive, so traditionally Western, so patriarchal…oops, that slipped out, my apologies to the goddess. I’d much rather be thought of as spiritual than as religious, wouldn’t you? Religious is yucky. Religious smells old and dead. Yuuuuck-y. Spiritual is neat. Spiritual smells like fresh-baked bread. Yuuuuumm-y.

Now it’s sad – and sadly not surprising – when bona fide Christians, and the churches they constitute, embrace this sort of embarrassed lexical retreat, even if it is done unwittingly (one could only hope). BASS (that stands for Balaam’s ASS – clever, huh?) has noticed this retreat in the way prayer is practiced by some under the big tent Christendom. Increasingly more Christians seem to practice prayer like Narcissus over Echo’s pond, unable to look away from his own reflection. Inordinate attention to oneself in prayer is a mistake of no small significance and is certain to yield ever diminishing returns from the bank of Heaven. It all to often eases the pray-er, however subtly, into the quagmire of subjectivity, and the aims of heaven may noiselessly fade to gossamer.

But all of this is just plain unnecessary, because He whose throne is heaven has already weighed in on this issue. He knows how much we love ourselves, how much we love to navel-gaze, how sharply we are drawn to Gnostic tendencies in the pursuit of “spirituality.” So mercifully, He has given us an antidote to the narcotic impulses of our bent gaze - written instructions from heaven itself.

TO KEEP EYES FIXED ON GOAL, READ THESE DIRECTIVES:

Matthew 5 & 6; Luke 11 & 18
Romans 1:10-12; 15:31
I Corinthians 1:4-13
II Corinthians 13:7
Ephesians 1:15-23; 3:14-21; 6:19-20
Philippians 1:4-11
Colossians 1:3-12; 4:3
I Thessalonians 3:10; 5:17-18
2 Thessalonians 1:11-12; 3:1-2
Philemon 1:6
Hebrews 13:18-19
James 5:13-16
I Peter 4:7
III John 1:2

That should do the trick, yessiree. Now there’s some donkey sense. Braaaaaay hah.